Many have asked how Craig is doing. It’s been almost one week later, and he’s great. He does have some surgical muscle pain that is easing. Sometimes his low spine area hurts, but that can be tweaked with more programs in a few weeks. He still walks with a cane because his left leg is paralyzed below the knee. The cane is forever, but that’s ok. He has a collection of beautiful canes. The wheel chair is only in case of very long days. But even then, unnecessary.
Mostly though, he’s totally fine.
What I’m having trouble explaining is, how that feels emotionally. It’s surreal. A dream. We’re waiting for it not to work or the proverbial shoe to drop. After 12 years of an evil roommate named Pain that wrecked everything, it left. Bye Felicia. So we stand in the room after the door slammed, and just stare at each other. It’s weird to be out of a storm. The immediate calmness after chaos is so strange and lovely. A bit unnerving.
In place of it, we see how God worked in every step. We’re very pro science, and I think God is too. The frustration of the sloooooowwww VA, was actually putting him in the perfect spot to get the newest technology that does so MUCH more.
We’ve been blown away by the excitement of so many of you! That’s just overwhelming. Thank you! The boys are excited. It’s pretty awesome. We’re excited! It’s just a bit like discovering your wardrobe opens to Narnia. It’s INSANE. Ha! I see Craig fall asleep at night without pain and it makes me cry in gratitude and amazement.
We’re thrilled to have a pain free Thanksgiving! It’s the first without my Nana, so excitement and grief coexist, like in much of life. I want her to see Craig so very bad. I really hope she misses out on most stuff here (Heaven is far better without stuff here), but that’s an exception! 😊
God is so good. But I want to be very clear: God was good when circumstances weren’t. God was good when Fentanyl was our only hope (and that’s REALLY BAD STUFF, MKAY?), God was good when it was just a random Tuesday. He was good the day Craig got hurt in Massachusetts, the day surgeries failed, the days we cried with a Physical Therapist when insurance kicked Craig out again and again. God was good when the government was awful. He was good when they did the right things. God has been good through good, bad, beauty, and pain, because He can be nothing else. He’s the reason we have made it this far. Trust me: Fentanyl just about took us out. But God was there. He gave us strength, helped us keep on, and sent us the right people to help.
I’ll never know why his timing is perfect now. Maybe he needed me to be able to write this to you. Maybe he wanted us to be where we are, to encourage others, to have the INCREDIBLE people around us that we’ve been given. Maybe Craig was supposed to shine like he has during the dark and again now in joy. It’s a compelling story.
I have zero idea. If I thought like God does, I’d make the same decisions. But I certainly don’t have his mind or sight. I’ve absolutely lost my mess more than once through all of this. Buckets of tears, prayers, angry words at God... gosh I wanted to burn down the VA system. (And don’t get me wrong, that system needs to burn). I have often crumpled under the enormous stress. Craig sometimes crumpled under the enormous darkness that pain brings. It was bad. But God was still God.
If I listed all the people I’m overwhelmingly indebted to, the list is gigantic. So many of you... I’m all teary. So MANY of you, nationwide, from Cape Cod, to California, homesweet home, and all over...in ways you may not even realize. Our families, our Tribe, our incredible friends. You. You reading this. Thank you. This is a beautiful time to give thanks.
TL;DR: Craig is doing well, we can’t believe it, and God has been here the whole time. Thank you. ❤️
