What's Next? 12/31/2020

I’m a fan of The West Wing, which recently left Netflix for Peacock streaming. One of the things President Barlet regularly says throughout the show is “What’s Next?” He says that when he’s ready to move on to whatever else is there for him among his administration inside the White House. 

I’ve begrudgingly wondered that throughout 2020. Murder Hornets? Sheesh, what’s next? I know better than to speak that out loud into the universe. I’m a lot of things, but that’s too brave to me. Like Michael Scott from The Office says “I’m not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious.” I’m definitely a little stitious about things sometimes. I don’t walk under ladders, I don’t watch Washington Football games, and I don’t say “What’s Next?” out loud.

But to be really honest, I’m wondering what’s next for 2021. I think we all are anxiously looking ahead, between our fingers perhaps? Wouldn’t you like to see what awaits us before we agree to it?!

Life doesn’t work that way at all, does it? Life is unpredictable, plans are often ruined, and who even knows what’s happening in our government? 

So as I think “What’s Next?” With more than a touch of dread, I have to look toward the one who already knows. None of this has been a surprise to God. Why didn’t He stop it? I don’t know, honestly. I imagine he has stopped many things we’ll never know about. I do know that when God allows something bad to happen, it can be used for good. That doesn’t negate the pain and grief for many who have lost loved ones and experienced struggle. God is close to the broken-hearted. He can also bring good out of bad. Ive already seen it in many ways. 

Churches finally have an online presence most anywhere! Consider the opportunity that brings for reaching people who can never get to church. Curbside delivery is outstanding and I hope it never goes away. It helps so many who struggle with mobility. I think we’re also finally seeing a better acceptance and understand for mental illness and depression. Most people have been touched with that or anxiety this year in some respect, so it makes sense. 

I think we are all very aware that human contact is essential, more than ever before. I’ve never thought of myself as especially touchy, but I miss high fives, hugs, and handshakes. It was a way we acknowledged each other with touch. I’m respectful of others’ space and risk factors, of course, but it’s a noticeable thing for me.

When I look at What’s Next for 2021, I’m making goals that can be reached without leaving home. I hope to write more and definitely read much more! We’re looking forward to doing special, fun things at home, but also hoping to get away more. (If at all possible.)

I’ve thought a lot about Proverbs 31:25 today. “She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” I know there is much to fear if we let it overwhelm us, but for “What’s Next?” I challenge you to laugh without fear instead! Let’s have the Hap Hap Happiest New Year we possibly can! Much love from our family to each of yours! See you on the flip side.

Let it Snow (December 24, 2020)

And Since We Have No Place To Go…

The last time I wrote about snow for the paper, we had a storm come through and drop 11 inches on our area, effectively shutting it down for a bit. I’m not saying that my writing was the reason for that, but I’m so also not apologizing. Instead, I’m doubling down and flexing the power of the muse, or just hoping for that sweet luck again.

I love snow. It’s not popular to like it here and I understand that opinion. It can be icy and yuck. People who do not know how to drive in snow insist on doing exactly that for no reason. There is no safe way to drive on ice, period, but super slow is best if you have to do it. 

That being said, snow is magic here! It’s rare and so many meteorological things have to be exactly perfect for it to happen. Then, when those pieces click into place, the world is a snow globe. Snow, with it’s swirling flakes of all different patterns, is pure and beautiful. It swirls in the air in a dance with the wind and covers the landscape in a blanket of glittering white powered sugar. 

Hygge is a danish term I’ve tried to embrace this year. It’s a quality of coziness. Comfortable contentment and wellbeing is important to their culture. I figured with so much out of my control this year, we would do our best to find a cozy contentment. Certain things can spark that feeling in all of us. I have found that I like a neat, but not sparse, home. I’m not minimalist, but prefer having things around me that make me happy. I love having music on and candles lit. Super soft throw blankets and pillows around the seating & floor are cozy to me. I love reading with a cup of hot tea or coffee, a cat or dog snoozing nearby, and the sounds of happy people in the background. Hot summer isn’t Hygge to me, but fall and winter very much are that. I love the rich colors, sparkling lights, and fun traditions.

I also love snow.

I don’t really think being freezing cold is fun, but coats, sweaters, and boots are cozy. I can get warm enough to be outside for a while. Like the song sings, “Snowflakes that stay on our nose and eyelashes,” are a few of my favorite things! I love making snowmen and ladies, snow balls, and especially the southern treat of snow cream. We keep Eagle Brand Condensed milk & vanilla flavoring at the ready in the winter. I read once that in Europe, it was once made with booze. (Look, I’m just trying to win over the snow haters.)

When Craig and I were stationed in Massachusetts, it snowed 42 inches in 24 hours. It snowed everyday for 3 weeks after that. There was still snow everywhere for Easter! I’m not in the slightest advocating for that kind of blizzard here. I wouldn’t be mad (I’d laugh a ton), but it’s not necessary and it’s very unlikely. I would just be so happy with about a foot that melts in a week. Be honest with yourself in this pandemic life: we have no place to go. Let it snow! Merry Christmas and God bless us, every one!

Ornaments! (December 2020)

 

I’m not a super nostalgic type person, but there is just something different about Christmas. I am a big fan of ornaments. I love Christmas and winter decor overall, but there’s something very special about ornaments. They are treasured items I unpack once a year and get “all in my feels” about every year, typically with my favorite Christmas albums in the background. 

Since we first got married, Craig and I have collected ornaments. We each brought many from our childhood to the tree, but the ones we’ve chosen together hold a special meaning. While I love the shiny baubles of packaged ornaments for extra fill in, carefully selected memories fill our tree every year. We were given a sweet “Just Married” ornament as a wedding gift and then we bought more on our honeymoon. That began our tradition of finding ornaments as souvenirs from places we go and things we do. It’s easy to pack up as a prior military couple expecting to move all around. Ornaments are something you can reminisce over with all the emotions the holidays can bring. 

We’ve inherited ornaments from others long gone. I remember them on my grandparents’ tree. Others I found from my great Aunt Mildred. Forgotten ornaments that shine once again. I wonder about the stories while I admire them. Were they gifts, perhaps?

We bought ornaments when we lived in New England, stationed in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, with the Coast Guard. The collection includes many towns we visited and the base itself. We have so many Coast Guard ornaments, the tree probably salutes the Commanding Officer if he drives by the house. I’ll likely still buy more, to be honest.

I have helpers to decorate the tree these days. We tell them stories about ornaments we’ve collected from our childhood, our life together, given from others, even those the boys have made themselves. The boys hang ornaments, arguing over who places what where. I fuss that there’s no need to put 25 ornaments crammed together in one section. Before long, I kick them out and redo the whole thing muttering to myself, while Harry Connick, Jr croons in the background. It’s just the beauty of the season, you know? 

However, sometime later, I grab a boring drink in a fancy glass and I dim the lights. I might start the music again, perhaps Sinatra’s Christmas Waltz or a favorite collection of Christmas carols about the birth of Jesus. I sit in the light of the tree looking at the sparkling memories of fun and adventure. Sometimesboys have made, or even the ones celebrating their December birthdays. 

Do you have a favorite ornament or one that makes you smile big? I have ornaments from many things around Perquimans County. My youth group, Hertford Baptist Church, Perquimans County High School, even Mr. Jimmy (known to the world as Catfish Hunter). There are soccer ornaments for Carson, loud ornaments for Andrew, and we have a whole box of just Star Wars tree decor! 

This year I treated myself to a typewriter ornament. While I certainly don’t use that to write these columns, I do have a typewriter. It’s symbolism that when I feel like there is nothing good, I still have words and the ability to put them together. I challenge you to look for an ornament that highlights something good this year. Even if you write it with a sharpie on a shiny ball. I’ll probably do that myself. 

Smells Like Teen Spirit! (12/10/20)

As you read these words, I want you to know I’m now different. I’m not the Ashlea Davis of yesteryear or a few days before. I am brand new. What could I possibly be so dramatic about, you wonder? Well, I’ll tell you, but to be honest, I might cry.

Hello. My name is Ashlea. I am the mother of a teenager. 

My first born is now 13. He is a quaran-TEEN of 2020, because celebrating such a momentous occasion is a bit lame this year. Nevertheless, Carson is a teenager.

Being a teenager and all, I won’t make this about him specifically. He’d laugh and do a little eye roll, perhaps. Deserving, for sure. I’ve told him I don’t know how to be a mother of a teenager and I covet his thoughts and prayers during this time.

First borns are an interesting breed, aren’t they? I would know, I am one. They are an entire experiment and we’re all honestly lucky to be here. The lives of second borns and beyond are considerably easier in many respects and you are WELCOME for that privilege. I used to give my parents a bit of a hard time over how differently my sister, Amanda, was parented through the stages that I had passed 4 years prior. Mom would shrug and say she learned things the first time. Dad would shrug and say she’s the favorite. It’s a long standing “joke” in my family. I find it “very funny.”

Family dysfunction aside, Mom is right & Dad is not. I do things with my oldest that I realize are dumb, so I fix it with my youngest. I’m sorry. I’ve explained to Carson that it would be even dumber to continue the dumb thing a second time just to be even and he laughingly agreed. I’ve told him many times that when he hits new stages, it’s new for me, too. I may have seen his stage before, but not as the parent. I’m learning, reading, talking to other families, leaning in to who my children are, and covering all of that with a HUGE dose of prayer and gratitude at the opportunity.

13 years ago, I was recovering from a bit of a traumatic birth and was holding the most beautiful person I had ever seen. 13 years ago, I didn’t have a clue, but we had a bunch of useless ideas. 13 years ago, Craig and I were entirely stunned, overjoyed, and terrified that we were parents. We’re entering teenage years about the same. Stunned and overjoyed at the person we’ve helped get to this age. We’re a bit nervous at what lies ahead… but it’s exciting too. He’s come so far! He’s one of my favorite people to talk to about his interests. 

My heart almost cannot handle the joy I have over this incredible teenager & his not so little brother who also will be 9 this month. Two December birthdays and one is a teenager. Onward to this fresh adventure!

Merry CATus! (Perquimans Weekly 12/3/2020)

Here’s a free tip from your friendly neighborhood columnist: if you find a kitten in the bushes during a cursed year, put it back in the bushes.

I’m kidding (sorta) because the kitten we found this summer has been a ton of fun and laughter. He’s certifiably crazy, though, and I think it’s time I shared our family’s struggle with all of you.

Gunner (his nickname Gunny Bunns because it seems like pets get far more nicknames than is reasonable) has adapted quite well in some cases from the great wild to the inside. He likes to immediately sit in your seat when you get up, even if you were coming right back, because it’s warm and cozy. He enjoys having his crunchies refilled on demand and being served only his favorite flavor of canned food. The smaller humans here have a variety of soft places to nap, like beanbags and fluffy blankets, but he also has two beds of his own. There is no end to the toys and people willing to entertain him. He bounces all over the furniture and climbs everything. It is a jungle gym for this jungle cat.

Is all of that enough for the grey gremlin? No! He demands sacrifices! We must hide our toilet paper from him! In the year of our Lord, two thousand and twenty, despite a KNOWN toilet paper crisis that has been explained to him a multitude of times, THIS CAT will turn our toilet paper into rolls of lace. We have a box of shredded TP for emergencies, but honestly, I cannot imagine what would possess me to use a fluffy handful. I tell you truthfully that I would cry.

All of this to say that the giant squirrel who lives here is a threat to all that is holy. 

Holy….like Christmas. I panicked as I thought of our tree crashing down. There’s no way that the silver devil wouldn’t attempt to take down a celebration to baby Jesus! How must I thwart Revelation from panning out before my children’s eyes in our living room?! I headed to the sacred source of answers of all things at home: Pinterest.

There it was…a CACTUS! Well…A CATus, if you will. PVC pipe, green rope, a wood base…I imagined Gunner-friendly cat ornaments. Hmm, I don’t believe those exist, so cat toys instead. I showed Craig and the boys, and they were immediately on board. The idea is that he has his CATus in place of our smaller tree in the den. We still have our big tree in the safely closed off front room (God bless mid-century styled homes with two living areas. A modern great room would be a great CATastrophe!) 

We put it all together and offered it to our ashen overlord. I am here to tell you he was INSTANTLY obsessed! He played on that thing for probably 45 minutes before napping. He jumps on it multiple times a day! 

We excitedly put our big tree up and Gunner walked in to check it out. So far, he is ok with us having something for ourselves. We hope he will continue to bless us with this time of peace. Merry CATus to one and all!!