Snow Woman (PQW 12/29/10

(Note from the author. I wrote this the week before Christmas. We've since had a blizzard that garnered us 11 inches of snow. Please don't throw things at my house.)

If it is cold, I am a firm believer that it should snow. I am not much of a fan of cold weather, but I think snow is lovely. Snow has a romance to it that not many other weather phenomenon can claim. Snow makes you want to stop what you are doing and watch it in silence for a little while. I know some of you are probably big anti-snow people, but I bet even the most hardened snow dislikers amongst you would admit to a slight pause to watch the peaceful flakes swirl down from the sky.

I wasn’t much of a snow fan when I was younger. Everything closed and Mom wouldn’t take us anywhere because of the icy roads. It was always wet, slushy mess that soaked my gloves in a few seconds and made snowball fights akin to being hit with a baseball. 

But then we moved to New England! We had heard that Cape Cod doesn’t get much snow. I thought that was the same as saying Hertford doesn’t get much snow. I soon found out that we measure snow differently. Not much to New England would make us roll our streets up. Once at Sears I inquired about a odd-looking mulching machine they had on display. The nice Sears employee shook his head at my Carolina accent and informed me it was a snow thrower. Well, I had certainly never seen the likes of that before! I was pretty sure we didn’t need anything as complicated as that, so I talked Craig into a cute snow shovel. When we got home I put it in the shed about 50 feet from our house. 

A big winter storm arrived and I excitedly called my parents that evening to tell them we had 6 inches of snow! We had white-out conditions! How fun! But I woke up the next morning to 46 inches of snow. That was beyond words, even for yours truly. I didn’t call my parents for a good hour because I was seriously stunned. It was still snowing. We couldn’t even open our door! Then the faithful moment came when Craig asked “where is the shovel?” and I had to sheepishly tell him it was in the shed. Way over there in the shed, which was completely encased with snow. I’m just thankful our marriage survived that moment. Speaks volumes for the character of my husband. Turns out, snow shovels go in the basement.

We have had some snow here in Hertford this winter, and while we don’t need our shovel, we still have it. I like to bring it in the house at Christmas and stick a bow on it. It’s a bright red shovel and makes for cute winter decoration, but mostly, I just like having it close. I hope I never have to shovel this driveway with it! I might look into one of those contraptions at Sears. 

Calling all 'Super Moms'! (PQW 12/1/10)

Are you a super mom? You know the kind. The ones with the absolutely spotless houses that they could actually perform surgery in...and then do. The ones with the children who look freshly ironed and scrubbed. Those mothers who cook perfectly balanced meals at absolutely every dining opportunity. Grow their own organic vegetables and have their own grass fed cows. Those who make the cookies from scratch, jelly from scratch, itch relief from scratch. Those women who work all day and then stay home all day; who never leave their children and who go on trips alone with their husbands. Those women who look beautiful all the time, in the most stylish clothes, yet never spend money on themselves. The women who dote on their families, yet volunteer at every single thing going on at church and school without feeling overwhelmed. Starting to sound a bit impossible, right? It is. But I’m only starting to realize that fact.

I’m the kind of mom who naturally lives at the other end of the pendulum swing. The one who has dog hair balls blowing across the floor at least every other day. I probably track in as much mud as my son, because there is a good chance we were splashing in the same puddle. I have no use for an iron because I own a dryer. I wasted time I’ll never get back trying to farm organic tomatoes. We’ll just say farming is not my giftedness. Neither is cooking. I find it ironic that now that I’m starting to need makeup to look awake, I don’t often have time to apply it. 

I struggle with trying to balance motherhood with wifehood and all of the other things that come along that demand my time. For almost 3 years now, I have made a valiant attempt to accomplish everything I thought I needed to do. This summer I even added training for a 5K to my list. That was a fateful decision that taught me a lot. First, I learned that I actually can run. Secondly, I learned that I am just too tired to do it. It was the straw that broke the back of the proverbial camel. I actually passed out at the grocery store due to exhaustion! Even my eye doctor told me I was too tired.

I have since taken off my “Super Mom” cape. I feel a lot better! I have dropped a few extracurricular activities and eased back into a much more enjoyable pace of life. I am discovering that I’m a better mom now than I was when I was “Super”! I learned about pacing myself while running and it has great life application off the track. It is much easier to learn to balance a few things than whole lot of things! Motherhood is a feat of endurance. Every family is different and has their own pace. Be sure to find yours before you are feet up in the pet food aisle!

thankfulness

When Craig & I first moved to Massachusetts in 2004, we spent our first Thanksgiving there with just each other & the dog.  He fixed cornish game hens and asparagus...can't remember what else we had. It was wonderful! It's in my book as one of my most favorite Thanksgivings. Sitting at a card table 678 miles from home...with snow falling! Later, we made homemade pumpkin pies (with homemade whipped cream) and took them to the guys on duty at the air station. We sat out there trading stories for a few hours. Definitely not the typical Thanksgiving, but it touched my heart in a deep way. I had missed being at home for Thanksgiving a few times in the past for various reasons, but not like that. I was completely removed from my comfort zone and suffering from a tough dose of homesickness. We decided to make our Thanksgiving our very own. It was a special day and I was so thankful for so many things. It made me thankful for my husband. It turned our base house into a home. Especially thankful to God from whom all blessings flow. It still hits me. I looked around the table today; back home where I am thankful to be. I looked at the children, adults. all that food! So many blessings in one place.
Wherever you are today, I hope you have been able to find time in your day for a bit of quiet reflection. Even if it's just before your eyes close from turkey overload!

Every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17)

Happy Thanksgiving! (PQW 11/24/10)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! In our family on Thanksgiving Day, we all sit down, starving, staring at all that delicious food and go around the table mentioning at least one thing of which we are thankful. We each take our turn, with our mouths watering, to come up with something different than everyone else. God’s grace, family and recent blessings are all mentioned. Last year, my son of almost 2, was the last one to have a turn. We asked “What are you thankful for?” and he grinned and said “Rolls!!” So we gave him one! 

This time of year always brings a time of reflection of all the things we have and where we are in life. For the most part, this country is quite blessed. Though the economic times have made us all scale back a bit, we still live in a land of excess. Most of us can probably never remember a time when we didn’t have enough to eat. Most of us wish we didn’t eat quite so much! 

We may not have seen it, but many people in this area don’t have the means to fill their plates, or the plates of their children. Many of these people are hard working individuals that just can’t make their ends meet. My son is a growing boy and is always hungry. I couldn’t imagine how awful it would be if I couldn’t meet that most basic of needs.

As you look around and count your blessings this time of year, this is your friendly reminder to please remember the local charities. They work almost entirely on donations. So help out that chilly Santa Claus with the bell by Woodard’s this year. Contribute to the food box at your local church. So many ways to spread good cheer to other people in our community this year. 

I’ll do you one better. I’ll challenge you to help others throughout next year! Many of these charities suffer in the early months of the year because donations die off. Usually, if you are like me, you jump into the new year with “me-focused goals” like losing those holiday pounds or organizing that junk closet, finally. Let’s decide right now together to do all of those things as well as try to keep our eyes and ears open for the needs of others.  We all get by with a little help from our friends!

Hoo Hoo to you!

My little guy's third birthday is next month. I cannot even believe how the time has flown! I remember when the days were much slower. Some how or another, at the moment of childbirth, time moves into hyperdrive! There is just no way that those impossibly long nights with a colicky newborn are long gone. I didn't think they'd ever end! I'm so glad that's over! But I certainly don't feel that way about everything.

To distract me from my melancholy for my baby of no more, he is turning into a charming little boy. Really, if given the choice to go back to those sweet baby days or stay where I am, I would be terribly torn. I like this guy! Not to say he is perfect...no one is. But he's pretty cool, for sure.

I love how he messes up the language. I correct most things, of course. But sometimes it's really cute! He says "Happy Birthday Hoo Hoo!" Instead of "to you". It's just how he heard it and that's the way it is to him, no matter what we say. Recently, he has been talking a lot about his upcoming birthday. He now refers to it as his "Hoo Hoo" like some kind of toddler slang for reasons unbeknownst to us. "Momma, is it my Hoo Hoo yet?" "No dear. Next month." He has lots of plans for his birthday as well. He recently discussed those at Tommy's Pizza over lunch in the megaphone loud indoor voice he uses in public. "I think I want pizza and ice cream cones on my happy Hoo Hoo." Oh no! I started laughing despite myself. Pretty sure any eavesdropper would have no idea he was talking about his birthday! I decided then and there that the Hoo Hoo days were numbered. We've got to work on that one!

Carolina Girl (PQW- 11/3/10)

I really adore the state of North Carolina, the land and the people who live here. I haven’t always fully appreciated this place, mind you. There was a time when I thought just about anywhere else would be better than NC, especially Hertford. But that changed as I got older. Moving away for a few years helped with that, I think. Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

My husband is from Southern California (bless his heart) and when we got married, much of his family came east for the ceremony. I remember watching them look at the cotton fields and farm equipment and wondering what they thought of it all. Craig’s grandmother, Grace, turned to me once and said “I just love all of your trees! Everything is so green and lush!” I proudly said thank you (like they were all mine or something) and marveled at them myself...for probably the first time in ages. We do have pretty trees!

When we were living in Massachusetts, I would’ve seriously maimed someone for some Eastern Carolina BBQ. I actually dreamed about it at night, no kidding!  There was a restaurant on Cape Cod that advertised itself as having that precious Eastern NC BBQ. They even used an awful fake NC accent in the commercial. Craig and I almost ran to that place to get some. We soon stared at our plates full of western, tomato-based pulled pork and I think I shed a tear. I wanted to sue that place for emotional turmoil. It was cruel. I’m not someone who complains much at restaurants, but I told those people they were wrong. They didn’t believe me and I assured them my accent was not fake. I have no idea if they took me seriously, but they should. BBQ is serious business! It can soothe the homesick.

Aside from food, I have to say the whole state is awesome. I love how our state changes physically from east to west. It’s so flat here you can watch a dog run away for six days. But by the time you get to Raleigh, there’re hills and red dirt. Our mountains are so lovely, too. Definitely not the jagged, snow-capped Sierra Nevada’s that my husband grew up hiking, but older and equally majestic rounded peaks of trees that are especially lovely this time of year!

We went to the State Fair for the first time this year and I walked around looking at all the crafts from different parts of the state, many places I’ve never visited and some I’ve never even heard of! It occurred to me that I really should take the time to appreciate what treasures we have right here in North Carolina. I’m ready to go exploring!

Thank God For Kids! (PQW- 10/20/10)

 I have a very independent child and I think it’s great. He really thinks for himself. He will never be the type to be swayed by the majority if he doesn’t agree with them. He’s not going to lower his ideals to match those around him. He even thumbs his nose to several societal norms. But I really wish he’d use the potty. 

It’s not that I want him to be perfect at the age of two and a half. I just want him to give it a shot. That’s all. Mostly, I leave him alone about it and wait until he’s ready. That’s the common thought this day in age. But every once in a while, I wake up in the morning, obviously crazed and prepare to preemptively strike. He immediately declares it an inexcusable act of war and round we go.

I woke up one morning at 0700 and decided to begin “Potty Training Boot Camp.” I set the alarm on the microwave for ten minute intervals. Monday was horrible. By Wednesday, I was a broken, empty shell of a woman. Words fail me.

Things have gotten a bit better now. I relaxed. He went from a very affirmative “No way Momma...NO WAY,” at my mere suggestion of the potty, to a much nicer “Um...no thank you, Momma.” It’s nice to have a secret weapon though.

At Walmart recently, I showed him Spiderman big boy underwear. Wow! He was very impressed with that and insisted we get them. I said “Do you want to wear big boy pants?” He said “No Momma, they get wet.” I countered. “Only when you don’t potty. If you potty, they don’t get wet. Look at Daddy!” He decided that seemed reasonable. Daddy doesn’t wet his pants. 

He carried those underwear all through Walmart, hugging them. He didn’t even want to pay for them, but he relented before a scene with his mother broke out. We headed for the car in the parking lot. We passed a nice lady, whom we don’t know, and he told her all about his “beederman underwear”. She is obviously a grandmother and seemed genuinely interested in the conversation. She asked him if he was going to start going to the big potty now. He laughed out loud and said “Nope!” 

I have now returned to my original feelings about potty training. He will go when he is ready. He will not go to Kindergarten in diapers and he has a few years to get over himself. I am comforted in knowing that when this particular battle is over, I need to get ready for the next one! Parenthood is hard but you have to laugh. Thank God for kids!

Read With Me (PQW-9/29/2010) (very 1st column!)

I really love to read! That may not come as a surprise to many people. My mom has worked at the Perquimans County Library for many years. My dad also loves to read and was the one who got me hooked on many of my most favorite authors & characters. I enjoy a rousing adventure with Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt. I am also a big fan of the horse racing mysteries of Dick Francis. I’m passing that love of reading on to my son now, who loves “Goodnight Moon” and many more. I read for fun mostly now and I want him to grow up the same way. I grew up with books always in reach and it is no different in my own home.

But this summer, I have challenged myself in new ways. For Mother’s Day my husband gave me an e-reader. I really didn’t want one! I like real books! I like the smell of book binding glue. I like the feel and the sound of turning the pages. I like the feel of the book when it falls in my face past my bedtime. I didn’t want to computerize my reading experience. Heavens! What would my mother think? But I have a problem like many other avid readers. I buy too many books and I lack real estate. I don’t have enough shelves to store my book collection. 

I reluctantly opened the package, thanking Craig sweetly. After all, it was very thoughtful of him. I turned it on...finally. (I am not gifted in any technological way.) I held it out at arms length and said “So...how do I read the fake books on this thing?” Craig, my genius husband, got it all set up for me. My disdain for “fake books” quickly disappeared when I discovered how I could buy a book at midnight via wi-fi. I did not even know I needed to buy books at midnight previous to this discovery! Eureka! My Memaw is pretty sure no one really needs that ability. But I thought it was cool. 

So what did I buy at midnight? Classics! They are so cheap! The Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes. (Both volumes, mind you!) I got all of that for $4.00! Wow! I’ve spent so much time with the brilliant detective, I am half way convinced he was real. After 1600 pages or so, I was concerned I would start talking funny. I’m delightfully working my way through classics that I either never read or am reading again for pleasure. All on my little e-reader. Best part, you can “loan” books to other e-reader people...for FREE! Wow, what a novel idea! I quickly told all of this to my mother, who responded with “You mean, like the LIBRARY?” Um...yes. Just like that. So for those of you that really love real books, check out your local library! It’s Free! They will even store the books for you!