I've been thinking a lot about stories lately. I'm an avid reader and I was raised around storytellers. Much of my own family history has been passed by stories and I love listening to and telling them. I've been reading Brene' Brown's newest book "Rising Strong" and she discusses the importance of story telling in it. We love a beginning - an introduction that helps us fall in love with characters. We love how they confront the challenge and then we love happy endings.
If you know me well, you know I have a strong desire to write & teach. I have stories to tell. I am frustrated by the middle of stories, though because it is hard, messy, and difficult. Brown wrote that she discovered through time that the middle is the most important part. It's where our stories really lie.
In Adventure Park, our K-5th grade environment at Forest Park Church, we've started a series on Individuality. It's about how God made each of us with skills, gifts, and stories to tell that can bring others to Him.
Today, we talked about Paul. Paul was an incredible servant and helped establish the early church. What an incredible man! Well, his story is actually rather messy. He started out his life as a strong leader within the Jewish community, but as Christianity began to rise, he brutally fought against it. The middle of his story is pretty awful. Why would God choose to use Paul, who murdered Christians, to help bring Christianity all over the known world? Paul used his story to encourage Timothy, who was young and had doubts, to stay strong in his service to God. Paul knew that if God could use a mass murderer, then He could use anyone. Paul told Tim starting in 1Tim 1:13 that he was a horribly violent man. God showed him mercy. He said "Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst" so that others could come to know Him, too.
That's one of my favorite passages in the Bible. Many times, I feel like the worst. Many times, the middle of my story (which is really where I am) seems messy and unclear. I want to lean in to that messiness and help others through it, too.
Pastor Scott is in a new series now called "LEGION" and it's about the "demons" in life that we carry. Jesus asked a possessed man his name and he replied with "My name is legion, for we are many." My name is Insecurity lately. Well, my parents named me Ashlea, spelled that way on purpose, by the way, but I fight Insecurity. Fear gets me, too. Those two hang out together. I get so excited about doing things for Jesus, but then I'm instantly hit with panic. I freak out that I'm not good enough. I can't write this. I can't do this well enough to pass inspection. It's not what others are looking for…I paralyze myself. I let those two paralyze me.
BUT…I know that even in my mess up, even in the doubt, the fear, the insecurity, the panic…. I know in that, Jesus can be seen. He is in the middle of my story. I'm talented and gifted by HIM to do exactly whatever I'm up against.
Jesus healed that possessed man. He saved Paul. He sent them both out to tell others about freedom in Him. That lets me know that even though I might very well be the worst, I might even be Legion, but I am loved, forgiven, and I have things to do. I have stories to tell.
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